As I type this, I haven’t yet checked our lottery tickets for last night’s draw. You may be reading the blog of a multi-multi-millionaire who doesn’t even know that’s what he is. Perhaps that would finally start to bump up my web traffic (ha!)
The draw was for $65 million, which is a ton of money for one family to have. (Don’t even get me started on billionaires. After all, I’m trying to keep things more upbeat more often.)
It had occurred to me, and it came up from my dad completely organically in a recent call him as well, that $65 million is probably actually too much money to win. I know that sounds a bit odd at first, but made more sense to me the longer I sat with it.
Here’s the thing: Yes, my wife and I are in debt. We owe money to credit cards and owe a whole lot more money for our mortgage to the bank. Then there’s the ongoing bills and costs to contend with for getting to live on a tiny bit of land in one of the two most expensive cities in the country.
But to clear all of that up and not stress over it any more, and to put enough in the bank that we’d be taken care of for all our everyday financial needs in perpetuity and set up the kiddo for anything remotely reasonable that may come up in coming decades as well, we wouldn’t need anywhere near $65 million. With that much money we would of course be donating to charities, and helping out family and friends who could really use it.
… and that’s where it starts getting tricky.
How much, of in this case a $65 million windfall, would be perceived of as too little or too much to give to family and friends? It couldn’t be the same amount for everyone, of course. Most of my extended family are well enough along in their careers and relationships that they have homes. So maybe just (“just”) helping clear up their debt would be needed. But then there are plenty of friends who haven’t been able to afford their own place yet. And in this insanely expensive city, that can be an impossible goal for even long-time working couples. The average house price here passed $1 million a while ago; 1-bedroom apartments are $1700 (almost as much as I’ve ever netted monthly in my various careers); I work with younger people who either live at home, or with several roommates, or work every day of the week and still have trouble making everyday ends meet, let alone ever saving up for a house or condo. So we’d want to help friends, but how many friends? Only really close ones? Everyone we know? And with how much for each to actually make a difference? Is there any point in giving someone enough to make a downpayment on a condo, for instance, if even working seven days a week, they still can’t afford the ongoing costs of it and other bills (which is a whole can of worms financial problem with this city I won’t touch on here)?
And then there’s always some personalities to contend with.
Most receivers of money would be grateful for anything, of course. Hey, you give me $20 any time, I’m not going to complain about it. But to some — and I think we all know people like this — whatever we would give them from our lottery win wouldn’t be enough. “Only $50,000/$100,000/$250,000? But they won $65 million! What, they can’t share more?”
It’s a weird thing that was pointed out to me decades back, that even if you can be generous with your money, it can sometimes it can somehow flip around and despite your generosity, you’re somehow the one who’s looked down on by the person you gave it to.
By that measure again, having won a lot of money could be problematic, as opposed to winning just enough to comfortably cover our debt and our everyday costs for the foreseeable future.
Then there’s the optics of larger wins to others. We would be free and clear of debt for the rest of our lives, which could be a point of envy and jealousy in others (as it probably would stir up in me if it happened to other family or friends). We’d have a nicer car (or two). We’d maybe have more property. Quit our respective jobs, of course. Actually be able to afford to travel. And all of that would mean that people who we currently work an interact with would fall out of our everyday flight patterns. We could still go visit them and say hi and catch up over a drink, or whatever, but being out of those groups on a daily basis, we would forever be outside those cliques. We’d become other. Which would change the dynamic of the relationship, which wouldn’t sit well with some.
It goes on.
All of which is to say… look, I’m not saying that money can’t buy happiness. Because enough of it can sure as hell eradicate financial stresses that we all have that of course decrease happiness. So it absolutely can buy happiness, if only in certain respects and if only indirectly. But there’s also a point at which too much money can actually create more unhappiness in the likes of relationships and added stress over who to help where and how much, which to me, probably isn’t worth it.
$65 million is decidedly in that last category.
However, as I’m about to check my lottery ticket, I can say that I certainly wouldn’t argue with winning a few million…